Teenage Fear
Image by mike_is_scrumptious
For my art collection. It’s something I always wanted to portray as a teenager. Fear of speaking about something. Fear. As teenagers we fear a lot of things, but most importantly we don’t know how to express it.
Models: Zoe M and Louise M
How to Conquer Your Fear of Speaking ? 3 Causes and 3 Choices
How to Conquer Your Fear of Speaking – 3 Causes and 3 Choices
By Dr. Robert Portnoy
As professionals, we’re frequently called upon to give both formal and informal presentations – whether to customers, colleagues, bosses and even board members. Some of us are trained, readily prepared, and eagerly welcome or create the opportunity to inform, demonstrate, persuade, inspire and motivate. Others of us run, shirk and when absolutely necessary – squeak by. And many of us are scared to death, even though we may not show it. In fact, statistics show that nearly 75% of the population has a fear of speaking. It’s often said that when it comes to common fears, the fear of speaking tops the list right up there with fear of snakes, spiders and death itself. As Jerry Seinfeld said, “The average person at a funeral would rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy.”
While certainly common, the fear of speaking can be devastating – not only to careers, but to relationships. Communication is the crucial bridge that connects people and when it’s compromised by fear, the connection is limited, threatened and easily broken.
The extent of this fear runs along a continuum from normal and mild to severe and debilitating. Most everyone feels a bit nervous when getting up in front of audience or making an important presentation even if it’s only to a few people – if those people can impact the speaker’s success. And this slight nervousness is easily managed and overcome once the presentation gets underway – especially when the speaker is well prepared with a point and a purpose. But towards the severe end of the continuum, the anxiety can be overwhelming and the physical manifestations can be significant – including impact on blood pressure, heart rate, muscle weakness, flushed skin, sweaty hands and more.
Much has been written about the fear of speaking. And various practitioners, ranging from self-proclaimed experts to highly trained professionals, offer methods and remedies to help speakers overcome it. From an overview perspective, there are three primary causes – any one of which (or in combination) that lead to the fear of speaking.
The first type of cause is an anxiety disorder – leading to a phobia. A phobia is defined as an irrational, intense fear of an object or situation that poses little or no actual danger. At first glance, a phobia may seem similar to a normal fear. It is the degree to which a person is affected that determines whether that fear has become a phobia. The fear of speaking is a type of social phobia – a fear of being embarrassed in public. The key to both understanding and treating a phobia is recognizing that while the fear and anxiety can be intense and “real”, there is little or no actual danger. There is nothing in the situation that can actually harm the person who is experiencing the anxiety. There is no snake that will bite, no ladder that will fall, no gun that will shoot, etc. The danger is not real – only imagined. Getting up in front of an audience, for a person who has a fear of speaking is not imaginary. What is imaginary is the danger that the speaker believes lurks in the room. There is no real danger – at least nothing that the speaker couldn’t be trained to handle.
The second type of cause is faulty beliefs. The person who has a fear of speaking may believe that they are incapable or not good enough. These beliefs can often be traced back to situations in their past where their parents treated them in ways that made them doubt themselves and feel incapable. For example, imagine the impact on a young child who repeatedly hears, “What’s the matter with you?” or “How many times have I told you?” Coupled with a “yelling” tone of voice, these messages can lead to beliefs that shape a child’s self-esteem and impact the choices they make when trying to cope with life’s challenges. Consider the impact that a belief of “I’m not good enough” could have on a speaker as he faces a hostile audience. Certainly, fear and anxiety are easy to understand in light of these kinds of beliefs.
The third type of cause is competence. In many cases the difference between an average and an exceptional speaker is training. Effective speaking, while a “gift” and an art for some, comes down to learning, experience and feedback for most. Learning to buiild and deliver a compelling presentation requires instruction, guidance and time. It’s only natural that less experienced speakers will feel more anxious than accomplished speakers.
Certainly these three types of causes may occur in any combination. An inexperienced speaker who has irrational fears and faulty beliefs is going to have much more trouble in front of people than a speaker who suffers from only one of the three conditions.
But there is hope. Any of these causal conditions can be changed – and if not totally, at least to some degree. Here’s how.
Phobias can be managed through certain forms of therapy and medication. One approach that has been effective for many people with a fear of speaking is called Virtual Reality Training. Using this method, the individual is exposed to the feared situation over and again in the absence of any real danger. To manage the fear of speaking, the person faces, talks to and gives presentations to a virtual audience. The trained practitioner controls the reactions of the virtual audience using specialized computer software. With repeated exposure, the fear and anxiety diminish helping the person face real audiences with more comfort and confidence. For more information about this type of treatment, contact me at greatspeakers@aol.com.
When faulty beliefs are the cause, the beliefs can be targeted and essentially replaced with new and more healthy beliefs. This approach is based on the notion that beliefs are just that – beliefs. You can’t see them, you can’t feel them, and you can’t show them to anyone else. They exist only in your head. The objective is to get them out of your head so they don’t bother you anymore and then to replace them with healthy beliefs that are based in reality. This approach is now available through a self-study DVD program and has been validated as effective through university research. For more information, contact me at greatspeakers@aol.com.
Fear of speaking that stems from inexperience is relatively easy to overcome simply by learning how to speak effectively. There are many options including classroom training, public seminars and corporate programs. A new option is now available that enables learners to develop their speaking skills through self-study. It is a multi-media program (making use of speech instrumentation, CDs, DVDs, and a professional library) that allows learners to systematically measure and develop their presentation skills in the privacy of their own home or office. For more information about this learning method, visit www.pstoolkit.com.
Speaking effectively is critical to connecting with people, to professional development and to building and sustaining fulfilling relationships. When fear of speaking gets in the way, personal and professional success can be tragically compromised. This article has provided a basis for understanding the causes of this fear and some choices that are readily available to help just about anyone speak with comfort and confidence.
Dr. Robert Portnoy is a licensed speech pathologist. He has helped hundreds of people overcome their fear of speaking and learn to speak effectively. Dr. Portnoy is the founder and president of Great Speakers Training Company (www.greatspeakers.org) and the developer of The Presentation Skills ToolkitTM – www.pstoolkit.com.
Dr. Robert Portnoy is a licensed speech pathologist who has been professonally trained to identify and treat discorders of communication. Applying this body of knowledge to the needs of business and personal success, Dr. Portnoy has personally coached hundreds of business professionals to communicate more effectively. Over the years Dr. Portnoy discovered that learning to speak effectively is more about how to connect with your listeners than it is about telling them what you think they should know.
Article from articlesbase.com
News interview with Mike Aguilera talking about how to conquer the fear of public speaking. Additional information and tips at: www.MikeAguilera.com and seminar at: www.MikeAguilera.com Get your copy of The Instant Zone Technique CD at: www.mikeaguilera.com www.MikeAguilera.com
Question by Bob Mays: Do you fear speaking out against Obama for fear of being called a racist?
Thats what Jimmy Carter says u r if you challenge any of his policies
Best answer:
Answer by littlbrother77378
jimmy carter is a fool
What do you think? Answer below!
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Tags: Causes, Choices, Conquer, Fear, speaking
{ 19 comments… read them below or add one }
has anybody ever cried either during/after doing a presentation?
i did. twice ( but they were at different schools)
It’s only natural to fear public speaking since it’s a fear of being lynched.
@ash73829 Feeling not so comfortable is normal. It is not normal to feel like you are home alone. People try to control how they feel, but that’s a futile attempt because you can not control your feelings. So if you feel uncomfortible, there is nothing wrong and you need not to be ashamed. Knowing this nervous feeling will pass as you get used to the situation. Speaking is a skil, practice will make it perfect. And one more thing, dont talk in your mind, it will mess up ur speech.
im only a senior in high school, but in my experience it’s all about confidence. when i felt inferior to my audience, i would quiver and talk really fast when i had to give speeches. now i’m starting to become more confident and convince myself that im intelligent and have something valuable to share, and my last few presentations have been solid.
I just made a public speaking engagement where I basically fell apart. I was shaking and my voice cracked once, from there, it just got worse. I presented less than half of what I prepared for a solid week. I handed the Mic to the next presenter and left the room. That was three days ago, and I still can’t sleep. I feel so ashamed.
I did not understand what Mike was saying, Mike if you are reading this can you make it clear because I bet is good info but only if we can understand it. Thanks
have you ever tried going through your speech in front of someone like a friend or partner, i usually find this helpful, or if its really bad you could try hypnotherapy, i was going to try it but its to expensive for me
@ceili The same happened to me. I am well prepared, I know my field, but as soon as my turn comes to speak, I freak out and make an excuse to bolt!
wow..i can’t hear a thing.
I had to laugh at some of these comments LOL. I thought that I was the only one that freaks out on presentations. I go to school with a bunch of sharks, they wait until your finish with your presentation so they could ask questions, their purpose is to make you look bad so they could look good in front of the Professor. Not all the students are like that, but in my program I see it all the time. It’s really important to know your topic inside and out or else they’ll eat you alive.
It was ok, i made up an excuse to say that i had to step out of class, I had to speak publicly on two occasions since then and surprisingly they went fine. On the first occassion b4 i spoke i almost had another panic attack but when i started to speak i immediatly calmed down and i was fine. In hindsight i remember speaking very loudly and confidently, which i hadnt expected to do and i think this just helped me relax, pure fluke!
Hey I am in your position right now, I wish I had seen your comment b4 I would have tried to assist you, if you don’t mind me asking how was it, I have a Business presentation for my college and will be speaking in front of an auditorium full of people, I am so scared. How did it go with you, were you really scared, how was it, can you give me some insight on how it went with you, maybe it can help me get over mines, thank you.
I have a presentation tomorrow – ugh. I’m so gonna bomb this one.
I generally don’t mind presenting especially if it is a topic that I’m comfortable with and a audience that I know pretty well.
Unfortunately, I have neither on my side tomorrow. I have to present in front of a panel of frickin’ geniuses on a topic that I can barely make sense out of. Impending disaster.. =(
How did your presentations go 1qfxt? You know what, I haven’t done many presentations in a while, and they never used to bother me as much as they seem to now to be honest – I used to speak up in class quite a lot in school. It seems like I’m a lot more nervous now than I was, just thinking about it makes me feel bleurgh! I had a group presentation a few weeks back, and that should be a consolation really as I only had a few lines to read but god I was sooo nervous my heart was racing like mad!
Guys i had to do a presentation today for college and i nearly had a panic attack, i bolted out of the classroom before it was my turn to speak, what am i gona do, help please!
Thanks for the advice! I’ll see if there’s one nearby.
Ha! Sound just like ME!! I’m the same way, except……I;m even Worse,lol. I shook horribly, extremely quivery voice, you name it, I do it, But thanks to Toastmasters, a club to help with speaking, i’m really starting to get over this. Check for a Toastmasters club in your area. Other than that, i’d advice you to keep practicing, or keep watching videos like this =)
The first time I realized I had glossophobia (fear of public speaking) was in 8th grade. I was doing a 5 minute presentation with my group in front of class. I had memorized everything and practiced in front of the mirror countless times.
When it came time for me to speak, I spoke fast and my voice cracked so much, it sounded like I was crying and was losing my voice. I have never felt so terrible in my life!
I’m in high school now, and not even debate class has helped me.
I remember I made a speech in front of all my fellow students and college faculty. At first I wasn’t too nervous then I realized that I was on the podium with thousands of pairs of eyes gazing right at me then I felt my leg begin to shake. Whether or not other people noticed it, it was embarassing for me LOL The next time I was on the podium I was much less nervous. i think the best way to overcome the fear of speaking publicly is to realize that all those eyes staring at you are harmless.